Dear... Little Bean
I love you with my whole heart. Even if i’m only 17 and know nothing about being a mother, I love you more than anything. I love you more than life itself.
Please know that I fought for you. I fought so hard to keep you on earth with me, I was excited for you, I wanted to meet you more than anything.
Unfortunately I’m being forced to get an abortion, I already live in a strict household as it is and my parents won’t let me keep you. Please forgive me, I love you so much, my first child. I will pray to God every night for Him to let me visit you.
Tonight is my last night with you before you go to heaven tomorrow. I wish I wasn’t getting this abortion, I will forever wonder what life would have been like with you by my side. I love you my beautiful baby. I don’t know how I can ever move on from this. Even if you’re only 12 weeks and 2 days, I’ve grown to love you more than anything, I never understood how mothers could have unexplainable love for the human that grows in them. Now that you’re in me, I actually know the feeling. I wish I could give my life in exchange for you to live. I wish my parents would change their mind about this abortion and realize that you’re a miracle child.
I love you my sweet, sweet baby. I love you, I will always love you. I hope that if God ever gives me another child in the future that it will be you. I hope that when I get pregnant again sometime in the future, you will be the one I’m growing in me. I know that you’ll be in heaven, I just wish you could be on here with me. I love you my beautiful baby, my first child. I’ll always remember you. I’ll always think of you. When I have another baby I’ll think of how my first child is in heaven, in 5 years I’ll think of how life would have been with you. I’ll think of you every moment of everyday.
When they remove you tomorrow, they will remove a piece of me that I will never be able to get back. I wish I could go with you, I’m praying I could go with you. I don’t have anything else to live for, please forgive me, my beautiful baby.
I love you forever and i’ll always think of you. Somehow, you being in me has helped me feel less alone. Like I wasn’t on my own. It’s unexplainable. I love you forever my baby, my little bean.