Dear... 2020
Dear 2019 - 2020 school year
I don't understand what is happening, for the past 13 years I have worked my best to be a great student in high school. I put up with staying at school when every other student treated me terribly, my books were thrown in the trash, I was made fun of, torn down, and cried so much it's hard to put all I dealt with into words. Since ninth grade I've worked even harder to ensure I'd get the scholarships I needed. I joined Jr. Civitans, Beta Club, Upward Bound, FBLA, and I even joined drama when it became available. When I turned 16 I got a job at McDonald's as well, sure, I was tired but I hoped my hard work would pay off in my senior year. During the summers I would go to Upward Bound in the day time and work until 11 and be back up at 5 in the morning in order to go back to Upward Bound.
When school returned in August I would become depressed once again due to the people around me. People usually only talked to me when they wanted to borrow my homework or cheat on a test. Once we became seniors it comforted me knowing that I only had one school year left. I became the president of FBLA and everything was going as ok as far as high school went, until football season. Our school and one of the other teams we were playing got into a huge fight, causing one of my teachers to be absent the day of the local college business competition. I had won the typing segment of that competition a few years prior. It hurt knowing that I wouldn't get the last year of memories at the event. At the end of the Football season I agreed to make our senior slideshow since I am the best at computer editing. The entire class tried to control it, they wouldn't bring me pictures, and when I had already gotten song suggestions, people began to tell me certain songs would be better be in it or they were going to be mad. However, I didn't know the year would get much worse.
A few months later, in November, we were scheduled to go to Torch Invitational and the day of the event we were hit with snow, which caused our counties schools to be delayed two hours. The other counties around us were not delayed so Torch continued without us. I loved Torch, the college always tried their best to entertain us for the event and knowing that I wouldn't get that last memory hurt so much. My English teacher informed me not to worry, that we would take a Beta Club trip later in the year that would be like a two day Torch even, which made me feel a little better. We were scheduled to attend a Drama Convention and drove about three hours to the college it was being held at to be informed that it wasn't for another two hours which we couldn't wait for because some of us had to work after school and we ate some food and then left unable to attend the convention.
In December I was headed to a local Walmart when I was in a car accident totaling my car. This caused me lots of stress, crying and made me depressed. After returning to school in January, my class was informed that over half of the class were failing our English class and the teacher was very upset with us because of it. In order for her to have her drama class she had to put one of her classes online and that class was our senior class. However my class is known for being lazy and they didn't do the work, so half of the drama students were telling everyone in my class (including me who was the only one with an A in the class ) that we were the reasons drama would get cancelled and just trash talking us. Eventually that problem went away.
I was announced Valedictorian of my class and asked to write a speech for Upward Bound. February came around and my Grandmother was very sick. It hurt so much knowing how sick she was and I had to force a smile around others as my head was full of worry. I felt so bad about not being with her because of work and clubs and so many scholarship applications. My Grandmother passed away on February 29th. I was grieving so badly and the world turned upside down. I couldn't look at people with a smile anymore. I had lost someone so important to me and I didn't know how to cope. I began to feel better when putting it to the back of my mind, I continued to fill out scholarships and work. However, as we were learning our big end of the year play would be the Wizard of Oz we were informed there was a case of the Coronavirus in our state. This caused our school to be closed early for spring break. This also cause our Beta Club trip which was supposed to be like a two day Torch even to be cancelled as well. I was so upset that one of my scholarship interviews was cancelled as well.
Recently we were informed we will not be returning to school and our senior year is over. If we have a graduation it won't be until June which means we may not have Upward Bound this summer meaning our Senior Upward Bound Trip to Washington D.C. may be cancelled. I could be the one valedictorian at my school to never say a speech. Out of the 40+ scholarships I've applied for I've received one and that was for being Valedictorian. Lastly, today I was supposed to give blood in order to get my cords for graduation and I was informed I can't give blood for another eight days just because it hasn't been 16 weeks, even though I've had this appointment scheduled for two months. If I want to give blood again I'll have to ask off two weeks in advance and chances are if the cords come for the same company that made the gowns for graduation it'll take about 3 to 4 months because we bought our gowns early before Christmas and they won't be ready until April.
I feel like I should give up on my life. Honestly everything I've worked toward was ruined by you 2020. You took my Grandma from me, you destroyed my scholarship opportunities, and you gave me false hope. Is this what you wanted, 2020? You want me to break down and hate my life and feel worthless, you've caused me pain. Is it not enough? When will you stop? I can't take much more, please stop. This has been the worst time of my life and I feel like it's never going to get better.
I hate my life.