Dear... To The Best Friend I Never Knew I had
We met in a funny way, but never spent enough time together. We never fought or had an unkind word between us. Even though there would be months or years between the times we would talk or see each other. It was always a good time.
The last time you called me, you ask to meet and you wanted to tell me all about your new job. You were excited, but I was at the end of a relationship (that I should have never been in) and I was unmotivated. I told you, ‘some other time’. Little did I know this was the last time I would talk to you.
I sent you an email a couple months later but I didn't know if it was your email address. It was just a simple email talking about a hay ride when we were younger and first met. That was in October, in November I wanted to see how you did in the Race for Diamonds in Berwick. I looked up your name and your obituary came up.
I sat in disbelief. I closed the browser and went back in several times, but it didn't change the news. My friend had passed away. A 38 year old top notch runner in excellent health had succumbed to a heart attack. Something inside of me died at that moment.
I try to remember when you told me how you always thought we would end up together. Was it our last conversation, or the one before? It haunts me everyday. I wonder why we never spent more time together. I wonder why you got married so young and never talked to me about it. I think about how stupid I was. I was just doing my thing and not thinking of the best woman I could have ever had in my life.
I also wonder if this was inevitable, what would have happened if we were together? I think of you everyday, sometimes there's a smile, sometimes tears and sometimes both. I feel if we were together I would have lost my mind if I lost you. If I had 10 years left to live, I would have gladly given you 5 so we could've spent that time together. They say there is one person in this world that is your soul mate. I truly believe you were mine, and now there is nothing left to fill that void.
I've thought of your parents so many times and I've wanted to contact them. I just never wanted to bring them any more pain. I saw that your father passed a little while back and it made me feel even worse. I know I wouldn't be able to make it through talking to your mom without falling to pieces.
In my life I've told women I love them, but I have realized that was never love, because I lost the love of my life when I lost you.
I have a really good life, the only thing missing is you...
It’s been 11 years since you’ve been gone and I still miss you like I found out yesterday.
Jen, I love you and will forever miss you.
Brad