Dear... My Future Self
Hi, hello, hiya... really don't know how to start a letter, do I?
Well, anyways.
I have lots of questions to ask you. Or me.
First, how are you feeling? Are you still as stressed and depressed as you were when you were 14?
I really hope it will get better and I hope you are okay now. Right now, life is a mess.
I haven't talked to Alex in quite a while, I'm scared about her thoughts of me. I think she doesn't want to talk to me anymore. It's quite sad, really. There were so many things left unsaid, so many things left undone.
I didn't get to tell her that I'm sorry, I didn't express emotions as strongly as she did, I didn't get to hold her hand, I didn't get to tell her that I used to like her.
Did you make up with her? I really hope you did. I really loved her.
Man, there's so much school work because of the coronavirus quarantine. Thank gosh I have my cat.
How is Sintti doing? Has she grown a lot? She's really tiny and at this point I'm not sure if it'll grow anymore, lol.
I love my cat so much. It's one of my only reasons to stay alive and not hurt myself, aside from my family’s pets, Gorillaz and BTS.
Oh hey, forgot to ask almost, do you still love Gorillaz and BTS?
They're really important to me at this point in my life. Wow, I've been a Gorillaz fan for over 5 years now and an A.R.M.Y for over 2 years.
People keep on asking me if I realize I'll never meet neither Gorillaz or BTS live, I think they don't realize that I do know that, very well. I am aware 2d, Murdoc, Russel and Noodle are all fictional, but what they don't probably know is that I can still meet Damon and Jamie. And about BTS... It pains me. It pains me to know that I'll never meet them. For them it's different than Gorillaz, because their fanbase is so much bigger, up to 16 million, it's impossible for me to ever see them. I'm low in cash and I'm saving on albums and a drawing tablet right now, and I'm a minor so I can't even get to concerts. I love those 7 boys so much, you don't even know.... I hope you still love them. Both bands.
Frick, i just finished my bag of Skittles. I need candy...
Speaking of food, or candy, have you gotten to a normal amount of weight? Mom is still threatening me that I'll end up in a hospital and it annoys me. I know she's right, what I'm doing is not healthy but I'm trying my best!
You better be eating right now, and not be in a hospital or your grave.
Okay, important question, how is everyone in the family? How are the sisters and brothers? How about mom and dad?
Oh. About dad... We're kind of in a fight right now. I feel like he is trying to manipulate my sisters and mom and me. And he's being super mean to me all the time, calling me names, yelling at me for the least important things ever. And he keeps on disrespecting me.
I don't want to go to my dads house anymore. Don't get me wrong, he's still my dad and all but I just feel so sad and in despair when I'm there.
I just want to spend my time sleeping, drawing and writing in my room.
By the way, have you published your writing? Or your drawings? Do you still draw on that tiny ipad mini or has your equipment gotten better (I hope it has, I hate hate HATE this ipad)?
I just drew something today, a plan of my anime oc. I was watching Drag Race at the same time (Do you watch drag race still? Did you get that Manila Luzon poster pls tell me you got it please).
Okay one last question: Have you told mom about you liking both boys and girls? I hope you have because it's getting a little tight here in the closet.
I gotta take the dogs out now. So, wherever you might be right now, Japan or Finland, with whoever, boyfriend or girlfriend, alone or with just a friend, I hope you're feeling better. I hope it'll get better!
I'll go now. Goodbye.