Dear... S ♥
I made a mistake by getting too attached.
These past two months have been an emotional rollercoaster. It has also been two months since we last spoke. Everyday, I felt like crying. I went through a lot of changes, such as my best friend moving, my mistake of hanging with the wrong people, which resulted in isolating myself from everyone. I didn't know what mattered to me anymore. If I loved them, they would leave me. Like they always do.
I am a hopeless romantic and I believe in love. I imagined perfect love stories and was patient for my dream boy to come to me. As cheesy as it sounds, you are my dream boy. I saw you in my dreams during my sleep way before I met you. I'm pretty certain I did. And I have very short term memory. When I saw your face, I felt as if, I knew you? Your facial structure, cheeky smile, amazing fashion sense, was this all a dream? Whoever the higher figure is in the world, God, the Universe, or my ancestors, did they destine for us to meet?
Up to today, I always check on your social media, and I sometimes wonder if you ever thought of me when posting it. You do not know how happy I was when I found out you added me to your close friends list on Instagram. With you, I always felt as if I could express myself freely, unlike all of my old crushes. When you posted something mentioning another girl... I was quite jealous, to be honest. I wasn't mad at you or her, I was mad at myself. And God or the Universe. I was angry to why everyone leaves me. But now, I realize, maybe I'll keep a little bit of faith for now. If the universe wants us together, we'll come back.
How are you? Three words that I struggle to even ask you. So... what is it like in Germany? I really wish you could read this letter, but of course, I feel like a dumbass. I don't think you feel the same way, and you'd probably think I'm crazy with the strength of my emotions. But hey, cheers for the powerful connection of love!
I want to go back to the days when we first met. That night, I was actually really annoyed with you, surprisingly (hehe). You were so talkative and I felt as if I wanted to run away on the spot. A few days passed, we got to know each other more. We had long conversations that drew us closer together. It wasn't small talk, you were actually interested in what I had to say. And please feel free to slap me for not realizing this until you left.
I want to go back to talking about our dreams, traveling, music, and sending funny faces to each other. The feeling of me slowly falling more in love for you.
I made a playlist for you ♥
I always think of You when I listen to music;
ILYSB - LANY
Best Part - H.E.R., Daniel Caesar
Ugotme - Omar Apollo
Sanctuary - Joji
Do you think about me too?
I really really really really really really want you to contact me again. I miss you.
I don't love you yet, because you're not mine. But if the feeling is mutual, I will give you my heart.
I like you.