Dear... J
I think about you all the time, but I know I can't have you.
I'm available, you are not; no matter how much we flirt and banter you're married. I couldn't, you couldn't.
This not-a-thing thing we have has woken me up, though. I can't keep daydreaming about unavailable men, I need to find people to play with.
I'll still be hoping that somehow you and your wife come to a consensual non-monogamous way of living, but I know truly that she's not a woman who would be happy to share you.