Dear... 5 Year Old Self
I know I haven't been making you proud, and I'm sorry. I'm trying to be that woman you look up to, the one you aspire to be but the truth is I'm just lost. It's hard for me to admit that sometimes I need help, that I can't go through some things alone even though I have for most of my life. I grew up to be a loner, and I'll always be the girl who no one quite knows but is aware of her existence.
At some point you'll be alone, then lonely, you'll experience both of these things at once and it will drive you crazy. It's scary and I know that you won't understand those emotions in that moment because you won't know what to do. You'll begin to develop two disorders, an eating and a mental one. You'll hit rock bottom, you dwell down there for God knows how long but eventually you'll realize that the only way out of there is to go up. But on your way you'll sink several times, monsters will try and stop you while other creatures will help you, but only you can save yourself.
Once you finally think that you've found the surface, you get deceived and sink back down again, this time your lungs slowly collapse, your head begins to pound and your heart get shattered. You will struggle but just know that with every obstacle you will face, you were doing your absolute best. And you continue to do so and because of that you're reading this letter from your 21 year old self. Together we will make it through this lifetime, even if at one point you feel like giving up. Keep your head held high young one, you've got to finish God's Plan He sculpted for you.