Dear... Mind
I hope you know I can listen to you. I can feel that you're alive. I wish I could take you out and tell you all the things that I want to hear. But since you're inside me and a part of me I don't know if the things I tell you are enough to make you feel loved. I know you can see me write this letter right now. This is for you.
I love you, I really do and I ask for forgiveness for not listening to you when I should. I hope you know how much I try to do everything you tell me to do. I know you want good for me. But I hope you know this body has no will to live. I try so hard everyday to listen to your reasoning and every time I am convinced emotionally but I don’t know why my body and heart can’t listen to you. If only I was a surgeon I would give you a better body. Something you would be proud of.
I am so ashamed that such a good brain and consciousness is wasted on me.
I hope I can learn to respect you and you can forgive me. I have not treated this body like I should have.
Forgive me brain for not listening when you were screaming in pain. Forgive me for not standing up for you. Forgive me for being scared. Forgive me for choosing to be sad. Forgive me for wanting any sort of attention. Forgive me for not choosing you. I'll try to choose you from now on. I am scared to the point that death doesn't scare me but choosing you does. Forgive me for choosing death over you. Today I chose you, for how long... I don't know. Maybe it’s just for this moment, but let me choose you.
I want to smile. Help me breathe again.