Dear... Anyone To Help Me Get Thru This
Part of me knew I should have given up track my junior year of college. It wasn’t because of classes or my life but was because of injury.
See I loved track because I loved pushing myself. It made me more disciplines in life. Whether it be health and fitness or academics, track helped me to stay in line.
I loved the chemicals released when I pushed through a hard workout. The adrenaline that would coarse thru my body. The looking back and thinking, “I was capable of doing that.”
What I loved most was being able to push myself.
To feel pain and trying to push through it and over come it so I could get better. Because this pain not only represents physical pain but also mental pain. I felt like if I was able to overcome physical pain, it helped take away some of the mental pain.
So imagine, trying to workout. You are only a few minutes in your run. You aren’t even to the point of feeling that lactic acid or tired type of pain, but instead feel a different pain. It’s a type of pain you know you shouldn’t be trying to push through, because it you do, you’ll only make it worse and not better. So, you have to stop to protect yourself. But you lose the capability of being able to get the rush from working out. You lose that adrenaline rush, that will to overcome the physical pain from lactic acid.
So when you lose this, you start to fade slowly. You start to slip in everyday things. One minute, you think you have less stress, but next thing you know you feel like you don’t have a focus for anything anymore. This being health and fitness and also academics. You see a pathetic version of yourself. A slacker. You try to run to get back to how you use to be. Disciplined. But that nagging injury just doesn’t seem to go away. So what do you do?
I tried everything. I tried the rest. I saw a doctor. Nothing seemed to help. I’m not able to walk a couple minutes or ride my bike without feeling the nagging injury.
It’s detrimental. I feel like I lost myself and don’t know how to get it back.