Dear... Lost Person
You found me. From nowhere you fell to me.
I remember we talked for hours.
You loved deep conversations.
You loved deep music.
You talked soul to soul.
Then I went mad because... not you. My empathy turned on.
You searched for me but I behaved like I didn’t know you.
You told me that you could not control what was going, that was out of you. I never wanted to respond to this, because I didn’t know what to do with it either.
We had the same illnesses. You found me.
You felt me.
I could save you.
Before I tried to commit suicide because of my illness. But then I understand that became my strength.
But you did it before me.
And when the police called me...
It’s too hard to find a person with this illness.
It’s the rarest. But it’s unusual and feels like putting yourself on fire.
If I told you I felt this pain would you have lived?
They said you had psychological problems and called the monk.
We never had those problems. In the end we would win.
Your soul was right about me.
And I was always searching for the man with the same struggle.
My hand and legs are paralysed and my head is turned off. I can’t speak or feel. I can’t feel myself nor others. I can feel only when I pray.
Some voices are trembling inside me. I feel them leaving my side. And then I change.
And every night I die and every morning I live again.
I feel the vibration from others or good attitude so I talk to them.
I was lost as you.
You were my gift.
For a girl with a soul’s illness.
A boy with a soul’s illness.
Rest in peace.
I won’t die. I will live for God.
We have seen everything in ourselves.
We know that the hell exists.
And I’ve lost the only person I could love as a man.
I know that you see me. I’ll be strong!