Dear... You
I love you, I want to be with you so badly. I am listening to a song that reminds me of you. I am sorry that I will never be good enough for you. I am not sexual enough and I'm not there for you 24/7 whilst I am at university.
You want to explore before you settle down and i'm not sure I'm here for that, maybe it was the the right person at the wrong time? I can't carry on like this although I so desperately want to, I'm so so tired of hurting because of you, my family, my housemates... I don't deserve this.
I want to go back to the first time we talked, I want to go back to the time when you drunk called me while I was at a festival. I want to get drunk with you at the weekend and I want to explore you, but I just don't think I will ever be good enough; I am not sure I can fulfil your needs. I am not sure what I need to do right now, it's like you help me forget, but you also make things so so much better, but also so much worse.
I just want to be happy again... and I am not sure how. Are you helping or just simply making things worse? I am not sure if you know yourself, yet you're not trying to find someone else.
I want to message you so badly but I am only going to do that if you give me a sign that you actually want to talk to me, but is that a good idea? Do you want to see me at the weekend? Do you actually care?
Please just give me a sign... I don't want us to end at New Years.