Dear... C
What a shame you couldn't be honest with yourself, much less anybody else! How many years did you hide your addiction to gambling and your womanizing before your wife found out?! I suspect it was a lot longer than you are willing to admit, even to yourself.
The worst part is that you hurt so many people along the way. Those individuals who came to you for help, did not expect to encounter a predator instead of a savior. However, a predator is exactly what they found. You took a moment to see what you could get, then you set the trap, and once it was sprung, you acted without mercy. The women you used will never be able to look at a helping hand without seeing the predator that might be extending it.
Part of me wonders, what will happen when one of these women finds their voice? You have been able to act without worry because you feel no one will know. However, again, you don't really know who you're dealing with until it's all ready too late. Will your mother cry tears of shame? Will your father just shake his head and ignore your existence, all the while muttering to himself? Will your siblings pretend you never existed? Will your children change their name and strive to forget you? Maybe, but maybe not.
Ultimately, judgment will not necessarily come from an earthly source. No, and it is when you pass from this world to the next that you will have to answer for all of the evil you have done. You will have to answer for the times that you degraded those who tried to help you, the times you misused people who came to you for help, and the countless lies that you've told. My life has taken me away from you and I am so thankful!
The pictures on social media tell me you are sick. I don't know if it's merely an illness of the mind or an illness of the body, but you do not look well. Will you have the courage to seek the help you need? Will the help come too late? Are you committing slow suicide in front of us? Who knows, and few care.