Dear... My Chinese Sun
I thought that I'd never write to you again but here I am, still the same person who is so in love with you.
Well, after I bid my last goodbyes, destiny has been so playful.
I thought that I wouldn't see you again but I was so wrong.
We met several times, more of what I expected.
We met a lot, talked a lot, smiled at each other and laughed a lot.
For me, it was nerve wracking having to speak with the person you liked the most with all your heart.
Just awhile ago, we had a proper conversation.
You sitting next to me.
I tried to be calm as much as possible.
I tried to hold my feelings back.
But in the middle of the conversation I felt my hand started to shake.
It was difficult, deep inside me, I am telling myself to relax.
But the feelings just kept on overflowing that it shows.
I tried to fake a smile as you said that I know that you are married.
You repeated it several times.
From that time on, I know my heart died.
One thing is for real, I know I really like you and almost loved you.
What I am thankful for is that you made me realise that if you really love a person, his happiness will always come first.
I am in pain for we cannot be together.
But acceptance just means I wish the best for you even though it kills me inside.
Acceptance means I can let you go for I know you have someone else to go home too.
Acceptance means you will have a special place in my heart even if that means that I won't be seeing you anymore - forever.
Acceptance means praying for your happiness even I am not the cause of your happiness anymore.
Acceptance means knowing that someday, sooner or later, he won't even remember you anymore.
Two of the greatest pain unimaginable to human is not being able to see the one you loved the most for the rest of your entire life
and not being able to retain who you are in their memories. Knowing that someday, the person you loved the most will even forget that you exist.
I know I will be really fine someday.
As I looked at the stars tonight, I thanked God that I was able to meet someone like you.
I prayed to keep you happy for the rest of you life.
I may be hurting but please know that I truly pray all the best for you.
Thank you for teaching me how to accept things that I cannot change and to hope for the best things in life in the future.
Thank you for motivating me in ways you did not even know.
You are my "The one that got away".
No one can rewrite the stars.
How can you say you'd be mine.
Everything keeps us apart.
And I am not the one you were meant to find.
I love you with all my heart.
Until our next life!
I will always meet you in our every lifetime, I promise.
Until the stars give up separating us apart!