Dear... Dear Kevin, My Dead Boyfriend
Hello Kevin,
How have you been all this time? I hope you don’t mind if I'll call you Ritter here, it's the name that comes naturally to me when I think of you.
I wanted to apologise. It's been 3 years since you've been dead and I still wish you were here.
Since you've been away so many amazing things have happened, I really want to tell you about them. I want to tell you happy things because you didn't get to be happy in your life. I’m sorry for making things harder for you, I really wish I could undo my past mistakes and bring you back to life.
But let me tell you happier things, I'm sure you would love hearing about this more. I graduated high school with the highest mention for my degree! I am very proud of it. I remember when you told me you'll be here for my graduation and maybe even have a small celebration. I'm sure we would have had eaten a pizza just as you liked it! And watch some silly old movie and enjoy a good day.
Do you remember how I was a bit scared of Nejiko at that period of time? Things have gotten so much better, I feel so much more closer to her and we're having great projects together. Do you remember how you wanted to see us on stage at the convention? You said you'd have so many signs with our names written on to cheer for us! I'm so sorry you don't get to witness it, but I am going on stage finally, after 3 years of failing to apply for the contest. I am sure you would have loved seeing that.
Do you know Ritter, when you died, another boy messaged me to make sure I was okay during what was going on. He's very nice and I'm sure you would have enjoyed spending time with him! What I'm writing to you must be so silly, I don’t know really... I know you loved silly videos and memes... There's so many new memes that you would have loved to look at! And with my friends, we started creating our own little silly videos, we are having a good time and just trying to do things together. You would have loved the mini-movie I made with my little brother. It's silly but I wish you could have seen it.
I drew a lot of new drawings too, I even kept your characters alive! I promise, I made sure never to forget Ellie and Kelly. I even want to create a little game in your memory, I know you would love that. Terou is doing good too, although things are quite different now. There's also so much music you're missing out on. I remember when you were the one that tried to introduce me to niche music. You're not here anymore but I still try my best to find some little forgotten gems... There's so many tracks you would have loved listening to. But there's also movies, games, books, everything... I wish you could come back. I'd make you visit my current university! I am sure you would think it's cool, just like when I made you visit my high school.
My letter is very messy. I honestly wish I could hear your voice. You loved singing "Green Eyes" by Wavves to me. Listening to that song reminds me of how you sound.
I am sorry I was such a difficult girlfriend. You didn’t have to pretend everything was okay that night. I wish I could have known. I am so incredibly sorry.
I hope everything was fake. If you're out there somewhere, Ritter, please come back. I won't be mad at you, I just miss you very much.