Dear... Tom
You know I joke about marrying you, right? I know you have a girlfriend and I know you're relatively happy with her, but I can't help but feel like we're destined to be together. I know it sounds like I'm trying to turn my life into some kind of romance novel and while I wish that was the case, it's more the fact that I've never met anyone who makes me feel the way you do.
There have been plenty of guys come and go from my life. Some of them have been absolute saints, others have been my worst nightmare, but you've remained constant. Friends since we were 11, best friends until we were 15 and my first proper boyfriend at 16. I know it only lasted 2 months, but I still regret dumping you every day. I know you've moved on and that you're happy, but I just feel like I could make you happier.
You always ask what I saw in you. You weren't the most handsome or the fittest, but you were always smiling. Even with braces, your smile could instantly make me feel better. I used to think about how much I just wanted to grab your face and kiss you when we were sat next to each other in lessons. I can't tell you how much it hurts to think about taking that smile away from you.
The time was never right when we were younger. I wasn't mature enough and your friends were just dickheads who loved to hate me. It's different now though. We're both the best versions of ourselves and I think we'd be really good for each other. I know you're in a relationship, hence why I'd never tell you any of this face to face, but part of me thinks that you have feelings for me too. I just don't want you to get stuck in a relationship you're not 100% happy with.
I love you and I always will.