Dear... Bud
It's 31 minutes to my 31st birthday and here I am thinking about you and only you. Once again, I'm sorry for how things turned out and I acknowledge the mistakes I've made along the way; perhaps I pushed you too hard, perhaps you felt like I didn't fight hard enough or you thought I gave up before you did.
The truth is I exhausted all possible options I had and I would never stop fighting for us and for you. I desperately want to work things out but nothing seems to have worked for us.
I miss you and I think about you everyday. I truly wish that one day we will be able to sort all of this out and have a nice long talk about everything. I hope then that you will be able to see for yourself, all the things that I had been trying to convey to you.
I hope you are well and that you are happy. I wish that you are contented with life and you feel fulfilled. I bear no ill will towards you and you will always hold a special place in my heart. After all, you are my first love and a part of me will always love you no matter what happens, or where we might end up in this life.
I will always look back fondly on our happier times and hope that someday this whole thing will be resolved and both of us will be at peace with each other and with everything.
For now, I'll be ok and I hope you are too.
With all my love and affection...