Dear... Mom
Momma, it’s been 7 years, our lucky number.
I wish I could run into your arms everyday after school and tell you how my day was. I wish you could take me shopping and see my first days of school. I‘m going to be a sophomore this year and I wish you could see me.
I’m sorry for being such an ungrateful daughter. I’m sorry you had to suffer through pain, cancer should’ve never won. You were a young, beautiful, caring soul who was taken from this world way too early. I miss you more and more everyday. I wish I could be happy with my life but I’m not. It has been hard for me and Spencer.
It is really hard with the girl that dad married 6 years ago. She has a black heart and an evil soul, she only cares to watch us fail and to get us in trouble. I’m close to moving out, I’m worried about Spencer though. I don’t know what he is gonna do without me.
I want you to come back and I know it is not reality and I need to wrap my head around that, but it is really hard. I want to share so many things with you, like the time I had my first kiss, the first time I got drunk, you would’ve slapped me silly if you knew that but I guess I have to wait till I see you again. I hope it’s soon, I hope heaven is treating you well. Not a day goes by without thinking about you. I wish dad cared more about me and Spencer. It breaks my heart to see him so happy with a girl that consistently hurts us.
I have a lump in my throat writing this. I wish I could talk to someone and I wish I had someone who could relate and help me through it. I have no one anymore. I have lost everyone. I can’t even tell Amber and dad how I feel without getting yelled at. I wish you got to meet Oliver, your grandson. You would have been a grandma, he would’ve loved you. He turns 4 on May 21st. 5 more days. It runs chills through my body thinking that he has to grow up with a shitty grandma, you would have given him all of your energy from your head to toe. You have missed lots. Scotty and Sam are both married. I don’t think sam is very happy in her relationship but she loves him and I guess that is all that matters these days. Love is rare nowadays. It is hard to find someone who genuinely cares and doesn’t just want sex. It is 11:32 pm on May 16, 2020. I’m gonna go to bed momma.
I love you to the moon and back and do not ever forget it.
I hope to see you soon.