Dear... Dad
Dad,
I don’t know where to begin. Every day I wake up thinking I can FaceTime you whenever my daughter does something funny or special and then I realize you aren’t here. You always knew I was going to have a baby girl just like me, and here she is without you here. I never ever imagined doing this without you. No matter how far you lived from me... you were just a phone call away. I miss your voice. I miss the way you called me your Soni. I miss your jokes, the way you annoyed mom and how hard you laughed until you couldn’t breathe. I miss your pure heart. I could go on for days about how much I miss about you. Dad, where are you? I have this feeling you’re right here, but nobody seems to talk about how you feel about your loved ones when they’re gone.
I know you’re watching. Listening... praying for us. Dad, I wish I could come home. Some days this is so so hard. I wish I could talk to you and find comfort in your voice. You lit up our lives. You picked me up and held me when I was down. I know you think I can do it on my own, but I don’t know if I can. I know one day I’ll see you again, but until then dad it isn’t enough ... I’m sorry. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you the way you were always there for me. I wish I was better. Stronger. Giving you the love you deserved all your life. You fought so hard for all of us, until you couldn’t fight anymore. I never thought that would be the last time I heard your voice. I wish I could replay it in my head again and again, but the truth is, it takes me some time now to hear you. I feel with time the memories are fading... and I hate it.
I miss you and I just want to be home. You were and always will be my home... my safe space.
Until we meet again, your Soni. Love you forever and always.