Dear... I’m Sorry
“I care for you and I will always care for you," I said.
”You are important to me," he said.
”Shut up, I don't care," he said.
”Leave the room," he said
”You are annoying," he said
”...”
Sometimes I regret things such as not telling my friend about someone because I thought she may get mad, but I knew I had to or I don't know, something like this. I regret that I introduced her to you...
I introduced my best friend to a boy for who I cared a lot.
You started chatting with her in the group, I tried to talk to but you said, “I'm not talking to you." It hurt but I forgave you. I was the third wheel of the chat. You started roleplaying with her while I was taking a shower. When I came back I said, “Hey I'm back" but you just screamed to leave and to stop talking. I felt hurt, again. I left the chat and you said “to where?" I wanted to say “somewhere where you will care for me" but I didn't, of course.
I'm a really emotional person. I'm also an introvert, socially awkward and such things, so it's hard for me to make friends. You told me a lot of things.. but I forgive you.. once again we were in the chat and you started roleplaying. I knew I had no place there so I just turned off my wifi because it hurt for some reason. One hour. I was offline one hour. I turned my wifi on and... you didn't care I was gone. What if I go missing? What if I die? Would you even bother to reach out and see if am I alright? I don't really know.
Once you were telling me things such as “Aww you are so cute, ily, good night ly" Now you are telling her such things.You tell her how pretty she is. How smart she is. How she is perfect. My best friend has a crush so I know she won't betray me by dating him but… she flirts with him so so much.
Every time you text her in the group I silently cry. Maybe I love you.
I'm sorry I’m ugly.
I'm sorry I’m fat.
I'm sorry I'm stupid.
I'm sorry I’m emotional.
Im sorry I'm poor.
I'm sorry I'm not good enough.
I'm sorry I always cry.
I'm sorry I care so much for you.
I’m sorry because I bother you.
I’m sorry because I annoy you.
I’m sorry that I am not like her.
I’m sorry that I can’t be like her.
I’m sorry I’m not perfect.
I’m sorry I’m not her.
I’m sorry.