Dear... Self
I am emotionally alone most days. I have lost all faith ever finding deep true love ever again.
People I happen to come across seem to “surface“ and are non-emotional when it comes to romantic love.
Lately I’ve even been noticing, even in friendship, people are afraid to open up in finding a place of emotional understanding, emotional comfort, emotional relatability and a kind of welcoming depth.
I used to... love someone deeply... he used to love me back... but then time and distance made us hurt and yearn for each other’s physical presence even more. So much to the point that he needed to distance himself from me so as to not have to “feel” too deeply. Our connection is cosmic. I still think of him every other day.
After loving someone for 7 years, without any drama or betrayal at all. Having had the most intimate conversations and laughter and glances... a true oneness of love, support, admiration, and a oneness of ultimate refuge and understanding of each other... to now absolutely nothing at all...
That nothingness plagued me... I feel nothing for the person I am with now... except for a liking and a respect.
I feel nothingness most days.
I miss that soul cosmic divine oneness.
I am in somewhat of an emotional turmoil over this...
Love. My love, how can we love for the rest of our lives absolutely knowing we are made and meant for each other... yet ignore...
How can I go to the grave having never embraced the one true love we both know is so pure between us?
Now, only in my daydreams I feel you... I see you from time to time in my daydreams... as time passes I cope better and better but my love still embers... it embers so deep I can feel my palms becoming warm...
I love you to eternity.