Dear... Big Brother
You are such an important person in my life. You are the only one in the family that I have come out to and you are so supportive of me but I miss you.
You come home every now and again but you never stay. If you do, you’re just in your room. I miss when we were younger and you’d take me to the park every week. I would sit on the end of the longboard and you would take us there. You would encourage me when I was doing tricks on the bar or doing the monkey bars. Whenever I would get hurt you would call me a tough cookie and say how strong I was. I miss that. I miss falling in the road and you running out to carry me inside and patch me up. I miss you getting mad at your friend for hitting me in the eye with a snow ball. I miss you defending me when our sister got mad at me for nothing.
I miss how happy you were. You were always so bright and you smiled. Now I rarely see you smile. We don’t hang out often anymore either. I want to ask if you’re okay but I don’t want to be a bother to you.
I remember one time when you were hiding under a blanket on the couch and mom came over and sat on your head and we all cracked up. I miss how close we were. We used to do things together all the time. We would go rock climbing, bowling, sometimes you would even ask me if I wanted to hang out with your friends. You made me feel so loved but now you barely say hi to me. We haven’t hugged in forever and I just miss my big brother. I miss your hugs and your comfort.
I can’t help but think it’s because I came out to you even though you were so supportive and told me you would be there for me whenever I was ready to tell mom and dad. I know that probably has nothing to do with it and I know you have a lot of personal mental health problems but I still miss you with my whole heart.
One day I hope that everything will be okay and we can be like kids again without a care in the world because I sure as hell miss being your tough cookie.