Dear... Nina, My Late Friend's Mother
Hello Nina.
I'm from another country, you don't know me, but I was your daughter's friend, and in truth, I believe we will never stop being friends. We spent lots of hours, days, months, years talking. Ane, or should I say Maiki? Was one of my best friends.
She is responsible for one of my personal favorite records, most time on the phone. Yep, that's right! We spent about 11 hours talking on the phone, then another 7 hours the very next day later. I know it might not be a lot for many teenagers nowadays, but considering how young we were and how both of our first languages weren’t English… it was indeed, kind of a big deal. At the time, Ane spoke English better than me, by the way, I’d always tell her she got a professional American accent! But she’d commit little orthographic mistakes that made me smile. She didn’t care though. In fact, she loved it, and so did I! It made her unique, it made her… Her. Whenever I saw “together” misspelt, I knew it was my Ane. She taught me words in Norwegian like “melkesjokolade” and I loved repeating them in a funny way just to make her laugh, even though I knew how it was pronounced. Not gonna lie, I felt myself when she’d tell me I was the only foreigner who could pronounce it right.
Ane would sing me Norwegian lullabies to sleep, in reality, I never did sleep. It made me wanna stay awake more and more so I could listen to her voice. In the end of the song she’d ask me with a very low voice, almost whispering “Did it work?” I’d stay quiet… “I guess it did” she’d say, then turn off the phone, finishing our long hours calls. It’s weird to say but I knew she was smiling without even look at her face.
Talking about phones, did you know we had matching wallpapers? She made them herself, I remember exactly how it was and I still got it saved on my files, it’s an inside joke between us two, so I never show anyone. I don’t think even ourselves would get it, but we liked it and that’s what mattered…
To be honest, everything mattered differently with Ane… She made things simpler and I didn’t even notice! Orange, Fast and Furious, Minecraft (I remember her little sister loved that one), drag queen shows, Doc Martens, left or right, MUSIC! Music played a big role. I remember when she learned This is Gospel by Panic! At The Disco on piano she sent me the video immediately. Piano reminds me of Kristian! The teacher! I don’t know if that’s a secret but she had a big crush on him, then found out it was just the beard and hair combo. We absolutely loved gossiping about it. We talked so much, sometimes she’d even call me while walking Alfredo out at midnight. In fact I always found that a bit dangerous, but she’d guarantee me it was safe. She’d say “I live in Norway!” as an excuse. I also remember she tried to make me vegan so many times and tell me I’d get invited to her wedding after I said something funny, so I’d say I’d show up in a polo shirt and somehow that made her giggle…
We had uncountable funny and friendly moments, I could spend the whole day writing about her, but I can’t… So instead of that I’m gonna tell you one of my favorite moments: I still remember where I was. when it happened, and what I was doing. We were accidentally listening to the same music at the same time. I know it sounds silly, but I felt so connected to my friend that day. We were both so excited, like two kids when they say the same thing at the same time. It was one of my favorite songs by a band she presented to me, so it was a very special coincidence. I will never forget it.
With time, Ane and I were naturally distancing ourselves from each other, we wouldn’t call anymore or even text that much, nothing happened, apparently she was just in a better place, met new friends, partners and was dealing with her issues better. I guess we all grow up at some point. And she was growing up. So I just didn’t want to bother.
But don’t let that fool you! We never stopped being friends, you know? Deep down I knew I still had that one person for me, I always wanted to know how she was doing, even if it was just one of those shallow conversations “Hey how are you?” “I’m good, what about you?”. I knew she’d always answer my “I miss you”s wherever or whenever she was. By the way, our last interaction was a fruit of one of those moments.
In that day, after I heard the news, I texted her so many times, wanting all of that to be fake, or some nightmare that I’d wake up and it’d pass. But it didn’t. I remember I didn’t even go to class that day. I told people about Ane… People that didn’t even know about her or our friendship, but felt the pain in my voice.
Sometimes, living on the other side of the world, as selfish as it sounds, I blame myself, even though I know it’s no one’s fault. I wish she would have called me that one day. She have done that before, I remember I’d talk to her, calm her down, then she’d give up doing it. But we weren’t as close as before anymore… I spent most of that time thinking she was doing fine… That’s what hurts me. I'm sorry.
I always remember her through the months, and always on December 1st.
I didn’t make it to Fjellhamar in time to see my friend. But I just wanted to let her family know that she was very special to me, and will always be. Even oceans apart, Ane had an impact on people’s lives.
Glad I deg "alottle", Ane. RIP
(April 14th 2020)