Dear... Good Friends Don't Do What You Did
(Suicide warning, abuse warning)
I have never met anyone as awful as you. You ruined my trust in others. You messed up my mental health so bad I can't even trust in others anymore. You won me over with smiles at the start. You praised me and made me think we were friends. You always played victim. You got me to feel sorry for you every time. Then one day, you tell me you're gonna commit suicide. I tell you no, and you say, no just let me die, and then you vanish, online and out of my life. I thought you were dead. I grieved for you. I wondered how your funeral would be, how your parents would react. For all I knew, you were dead, because you deleted your blog altogether and left me behind. I moved on.
Then I found you again and tried to get answers. But you refused to talk to me. I was hurt and couldn't understand why you were treating me this way.
Then I remembered exactly how you toyed with me. How you messed with my sanity by feigning suicide around someone you KNEW had a mood disorder and was sensitive to that shit. But you did it anyway. Even worse, others defended your shitty actions, saying my feelings didn't matter. When you make someone think you are dead and go for help, you know what I would do if I was in your place? I'd be sitting there, feeling guilty about how i led that person on. I'd be telling myself I would seek that person out online, make a new blog, and tell them everything, apologize for toying with them and making them think I was dead, especially if I thought of them as a friend.
I'd say, "Sorry for disappearing, I didn't mean to hurt you, but I was really out of it and needed help. Now I understand just how badly I hurt you and I apologize."
If you'd even come to me with this kind of sincere apology, or any apology at all, I would have happily accepted you.
But you never did. Instead, you pretended it never happened.
I wish people knew exactly what you are.
I wish they knew how fake you are.
But I've kept this silent long enough.
I hope you never pull this stunt again and grow up.
Seek some real help.
You need it.
It doesn't matter if your friends said it was okay. It wasn't. Don't ever put your life in someone else's hands. Don't ever make them feel responsible for you, that's shitty and shows how nasty you are.
P.S. Normal people don't FAKE their own deaths and make their friends grieve them and pretend to be dead, then slink back online as someone else and play dumb.