Dear... Ty
Dear Ty,
It's been 6 years since we met. 3 years since we broke up. I don't know why I'm so hung up on you, and how whenever I think about you too much I get chest pains and get a little teary-eyed whenever I remember the time we spent together. It was amazing, and I wish we were still together, maybe even married at this point.
I always think about why it never worked out. And I always blame myself. You just wanted to love me, and I kept on pushing you away and at the same time limiting myself from other people.
Thank you for leaving me, because if you hadn't I probably would have been stuck to being an immature person who has no prospects for the future. I still love you a lot, and I know you won't be able to see this letter. But I'm doing it anyway to let out the feelings I'm experiencing right now.
I miss your forehead kisses, our cuddle sessions, talk of the future, the promises we made to each other. I really miss it. So much. I miss it when you would sing to me on the phone, and whenever you would write me cheesy ass letters that always reminded me that you love me no matter what. I miss that. I miss you.
I was young and too dumb to appreciate you. I know that. I'm feeling so stupid right now, honestly, that I'm still in love with you with all my heart. I hate it when people call me sweetheart now, because whenever I hear that word I think of you.
I hope you're happy with whoever you're with. She's very lucky to have you. I'm at a point where I believe that I'm going to end up alone because I don't think anyone could make me fall in love with them as much as you made me fall in love in a week. A whirlwind yeah, but those three years, I would re-live if I could. I'm sorry for the horrible shit I've done, I'm sorry for not trusting you wholeheartedly. I'm sorry for thinking I wasn't good enough, that I ruined our relationship. I'm sorry for lying a lot, just to keep you by my side. I hate myself over what I've done and I replay the pain of losing you every single night. I just wanted to be happy and to be loved, and now it's really impossible.
I miss you. I love you so much Ty, you could never imagine how much I truly do. Good bye. Please chase your dreams and build the family we've always dreamed of. Without me. I'll always be thinking of you. I hope this letter doesn't come off too toxic...