Dear... Dear Woman Who Gave Birth To Me
Dear Parent (Mother),
You’re such a narcissistic woman that has her pride up her ass.
I have been pulled in so many directions in my life because of you, it’s done so much damage. You waved me around like a trophy, when you didn’t treat me like one. I am not you, why didn’t you see that?
Allow my ghost to haunt you.
Allow the way I looked at you in disgust go through your head a thousand times.
Allow the distance between us hurt you as a mother.
Allow yourself to want to die because of the pain you caused everyone.
Allow the thought of me smiling with my short curly hair hurt your heart.
Allow the thought of me calling another woman mother drive you mad.
Allow my dropping the keys on the table for the last time and me walking out is looped.
I hope if you see me again you feel foolish.
I hope when you see me, you wish you pulled your pride out your ass sooner.
I hope when you see my smile and look happy with a woman who loves me and we have established healthy boundaries breaks your heart.
I hope the thought of me plays through your mind.
I hope you despise me for doing things for myself.
I hope you have anger towards me because I pointed you out.
I hope you realize... Those were my accomplishments, you weren’t there to be apart of them.
I want you to hate yourself because you weren’t there.
I want you to be in your own mental hell.
I want you you to scroll your camera roll, see a photo of me smiling, and you cry.
I want you to hear from different people of how much changed.
I want you to finally see that I’m not you.
I want you to cry yourself to sleep because you realized you failed as a parent.
I want you to see that all I progress I did was not because of you.
You don’t deserve to claim the titles “Mother”, you are not a mother. You’re just woman who doesn’t act her age and f**ks younger guys.
I shall become the woman you didn’t, the woman you couldn’t.
I don’t wish death upon you, I just wish you would disappear.
I do wish things were different, I don’t want to hate you. I want to move along with my life.
Thank you for showing me that family means nothing.
Thank you for showing me the woman not to become.
Thank you for exposing me to so much freedom and I wanted boundaries and solitude.
Thank you for not being there.
Thank you for kicking me out the house, so I have a chance at a better life.
Thank you for not being a good mother, so I could act like my own.