Dear... Date
I wanted to go out with you the first time you asked me. But you made it very clear you only wanted to go out if I was ready for something serious.
Telling me this before going on an actual date puts too much pressure on the date for me. I just came out of a toxic relationship after all, and I didn't want to you to feel like I was playing you. So I declined. Months later you asked me again, so I told you that I want to go - but I'm not sure about your expectations. 'It either works or it doesn't', you told me.
So we went on a date and it was fun. You really wanted to see me again. You texted me every day. So we arrange a date at drive-in movies, I order the tickets, I pick out a dress and then you backed out, leaving
me disappointed. You had too much work, and wouldn't be able to date for the next 2 weeks. Okay, I'll believe it, give you benefit of the doubt. You stopped texting, I went mad, I absolutely hate these dating games of who-texts-who and what-to-say-not-to-say. Suddenly you pop-up, telling me you didn't want to do anything half-assed but you have all the time in the world now to meet me again. So we did.
We kissed, I loved it. The chemistry was right and the kissing was exactly what I expect from a kiss. My heart pounded so fast, and every time you touched me it was like electricity shooting up and down my spinal cord. You, as a person, checked all of the boxes. I felt lucky. So up to date number three, I was excited. I've been fantasizing about us having sex for two weeks straight. But I wasn't planning on sleeping with someone I've known for three dates. Mainly because of some bad experiences I've had with my ex-boyfriend. We had fun, we made out and I thought we were both excited to see each other again!
The following day we were texting and you tell me you want to ask me something sexual. I hate you can't ask me this in person, we're both going on 30, so we should be able to talk about this, not text...
You ask me if I'm the kind of girl who will 'do anything' and 'will go down on my knees' for you. You probably hoped I'd give you a horny answer, telling you I can't wait to s*ck your c*ck. But sadly for you, I have standards. I reply to you honestly that I don't just 'go down on my knees' for anyone. I've never really done 'the real deal' before because it's something I want to save for the right person. You may find it dorky, prude or downright stupid. But I would feel nice knowing I'm doing something with my partner that he hasn't done with someone else before. This day and age kids have already done and tried everything by the time they are 19 and feel sexually bored by the time they're 24. There aren't a lot of people who "save" themselves for the one anymore and that particular sexual act is something I want to save for the man who wants to spend his life with me.
So apparently, I'm foolish for thinking there are men out there who appreciate a gift like that. You made it very clear that bl*wjobs are very important to you ... you had a bad sexual relationship with your ex-partner (who turned out to be a lesbian) and you want a future partner who enjoys stuff she probably didn't. It's your every right, I get it. I never said it was never going to happen, i just said I'm open to the needs of my partner, but it might take some patience on your side to get there. And you just shut the whole operation down.
"We're not going to click on that area, so it's best we just let this go". Well, at least you're honest. I really do appreciate you putting a stop to it before actually sleeping with me, I told you this. Just like I told you "I only want to date further if you're willing to give me bl*wjobs" aren't the magic words a girl wants to hear.
I couldn't stop thinking about you the next day. I hate the dating rules and texting games. So if I like a guy, I'm not going to play around. I asked you if maybe you would be interested in having a conversation with me or if you already closed this operation. And you answered "no, we're not going to work and I want a relationship to click on all areas". Okay, honesty appreciated.
That's it, I tried one last time and now I can let it go. You do realise this whole thing could turn out very differently if we have an open, fun conversation about it? But I'm not going to convince you to date me.
After all, I don't want a partner to throw his towel in the ring every time a hiccup comes up. I definitely don't want a partner who's only capable of texting about serious issues. And if I look at the upside: I won't be giving bl*wjobs to anyone soon! Hurraaaah!
But seriously dude, if you're going to ask every girl on a third date if she's willing to give you oral sex, I don't know how successful you'll be in finding true love.
And even if you do find her, marry her, have a bunch of kids while you work the hours you work - do you really think she's going to keep bl*win' you after a long hard day?
I'm not sure if I should tell you that ain't gonna happen. You're in for some life lessons, my friend!
My inner bitch thought : "Well, I do hope you find your bl*wjob girl, and I hope after 6 months you'll find out she's been bl*win' a bunch of other guys to. Maybe then, you'll get you priorities straight?
Anyway, I do want to thank you for showing me that I can still feel desire, feel excitement and tension in my whole body and wanting somebody. 'Cause I haven't felt that in a long time.